Buddhist Wedding

The Buddhists are strict conventionalist in the matters of ceremonies and the weddings are no exception. Whereas in many religions (both Asian and western), marriage is a sacrament and an essential aspect of religious duty, marriage in Buddhism is purely a secular affair. Buddhist Marriage is considered a personal concern; there are no religious directions on whether or not one should marry or remain unwed.

Pre-Wedding Rituals

The augmentation of the pre-wedding rituals is marked by the formality of asking the bride's family for their assent by the groom's family. The propitious day for this is decided by the monk called Lama. This is followed by the betrothal ritual. The lama recites the prayers and then a concoction called the madyan, which is considered a religious drink, is served to the guests. The astrologer or the monk stipulates the auspicious day for the wedding.

The Wedding Ceremony

Buddhist Wedding Ceremony is a very private affair and only very close family friends are invited. A Buddhist lama (priest) presides over the wedding. The wedding ceremony is conducted at the bride's home or at a chosen venue.

In the early morning, the bride's and the groom's families arrive at the temple. The groom's family carries a procession of trays containing fruits, wine, traditional cake, tea, meat, and most importantly jewelry that the bride will get as dowry. The trays have to be either six or nine in number, seven or eight are considered unlucky numbers. One of the trays also contains a pair of candles which are lit either by the bride and the groom or their parents; the tradition varies with places and countries. The lighting up of the two candles symbolizes the union of the two families.

The ceremony begins as the entire assembly consisting of the family and friends of the bride and the groom recites the Vandana, Tisarana and Pancasila readings in front of Lord Buddhas image. The couple then lights up the candles and the incense sticks before Lord Buddha and offer flowers and take blessings. Because of the secularity of Buddhist weddings, there is no assigned set of marriage vows. However, the bride and groom will recite their expected undertakings using the Sigilovdda Sutta as a guide. The Sigiloydda Sutta says :

In five ways should a wife, as Western quarter, be ministered to by her husband: by respect, by courtesy, by faithfulness, by handing over authority to her, by providing her with ornaments. In these five ways does the wife minister to by her husband as the Western quarter, love him: her duties are well-performed by hospitality to kin of both, by faithfulness, by watching over the goods he brings and by skill and industry in discharging all business."

The groom says:

"Towards my wife I undertake to love and respect her, be kind and considerate, be faithful, delegate domestic management, present gifts to please her."

The bride speaks thus:

Towards my husband I undertake to perform my household duties efficiently, be hospitable to my in-laws and friends of my husband, be faithful, protect and invest our earnings, discharge my responsibilities lovingly and fastidiously."

After these vows are spoken, the bride and groom exchange rings.

The wedding ceremony is concluded with the recital of Mangal Sutta and Jayamangala Gatha as a blessing for the newlyweds from the family members and the friends.

After the Wedding

Once officially married, the couple receives their guests with the huge feast and everyone celebrates the occasion while dancing and singing.